Saturday, July 24, 2010

Is fear what drives or stops us?

Fear is often what we associate with prevention.  Fear stops us in our tracks.  Fear prevents us from trying new things.  Fear protects us from anything threatening or harmful. 

Fear of the unknown.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of failure.  Fear of loss.  It's often labeled as a negative or uncomfortable emotion. 

Fear can also be the very thing that motivates and drives us.  Fear is often brought into the equation in order to help us find and embrace our courage.

As parents, we fear we won't be good enough.  That our choices will somehow impact negatively on our children.  That the decisions me make or don't make will be wrong. 

We fear for our children's happiness, their well being, stability and balance.  We fear for their futures, their unknowns, their journeys. 

What I have learned is that if I let go of my fear and I accept what is before me, I will find my courage and strength.  And in that, I will also find happiness.

The decisions we make are not always easy; what will I make for dinner tonight?  Do we spend the holidays with the in-laws or not?  Do we buy a new car or fix the transmission?  Do I take the 405 or surface streets?  Do we move or do we stay?

Do we move or do we stay?

Do we move or do we stay?

When I step back and let go of my fear, the answer is clear...  we move!

We move because it's what's best for our family.  We move because it's an experience of a lifetime.  We move because fear cannot stop us in our tracks and prevent us from trying new things.

And so I take this journey and my blog and I move to Seoul, Korea.

What a remarkable adventure...  please stay tuned.

With love from Los Angeles,


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Extended Families

Having just gotten back from a week with my mothers-in-law and family, and now having my own my and sister come stay with us for 5 weeks, you realize the support one gets from extended families.

Not only does my son have a ball with his Nonna, Mimi and Nana, Grandpa and Grandma, as well as aunts, uncles and cousins, but we, as parents, get a little break too.

Living over 3000 miles away from my own family, my friends have become our support system.  As much as we couldn't do it without them, there is still something to be said about family.

Multi-generational experiences. 

It's true what they say...  "It takes a village."  But in this day and age, with children moving away, followed by grandchildren living far... it's hard to build that village.

It takes more, on our part, as parents, to keep the family connected; to raise our son so he knows his family.  His extended family.  But with the technology of today, it sure does make it easy.

My son Skype's with his Mimi and Nana, Grandpa and Grandma.  Even with his cousins in Wisconsin.  For a while, he thought his Mimi lived in the computer and his Nonna in the telephone.

But what's remarkable is that he knows and loves them the moment he hears their voices, that when they visit, it's like not a single day has passed or thousands of miles separate them.

He is connected.  In his heart and sole, and that's pretty special.


Saturday, July 3, 2010

The 'Look'

If you've ever flown with a baby or young toddler, you know "the look" I'm talking about.

No one actually says anything: well that's not totally true, I do have a friend who had a passenger make a real fuss and ask to be moved when he knew he'd be sitting next to a baby.

But, for the most part, it's just a look.  A look that says so much without a word.  If there were one of those cartoon bubbles above their heads, it would read, "Oh NO! Please don't sit next to me.  Please....  Oh dear, they're getting closer... Keep walking.  Keep walking.  Keep waaaaaaaalking... GREAT, you're not in my row."

I'm the kind of person that likes to mess around with those same passengers.  I either pause in front of their row as if to say, "Is this it?" Or better yet, I'll actually drop my stuff off in the seat next to them only to reposition myself and say, "Phew, I needed to put that bag down for a second before I kept walking. Have a great flight."

Why is it that people always assume flying with kids means chaos?

Have you ever been on a flight where a child caused you to wish you weren't on board?  Sure, I've had crying babies, screaming children and even that kid who sat behind me and kicked the back of my seat for the better part of the trip, but it's never caused me absolute discomfort.

Just deal!

Is it lack of patience?  A dislike for children? Ignorance?  I have often wondered.

In Braden's short life he has flown on 14 airplanes and never once caused a ruckus.  Most times people don't even realize, until after the flight, that he was even there.

On our last flight I has several passengers, including flight attendances, marvel over how well behaved he was, as if they didn't expect that.

I, as his mother, not only expected he would be, but also knew it.  Sure, he has his "moments," but in general, we raise him to be polite, respectful, well mannered and behaved.  Why would flying in an airplane be any different?

What I would ask those who travel and have given "the look" would be, to try and be patient, to be kind, and to get over it!  Sometimes, no matter how much a parent wants their child to behave, for whatever reason (they skipped a nap, they're teething, they're hungry, their ears hurt, they're jet-lagged or tired, etc...) they just might not be in the mood.  It happens to even the best of babies.  After all, they're babies.

Happy Traveling!