Wednesday, March 9, 2022
Thursday, July 15, 2021
"I went on a date with this woman, and we ended up sleeping together. She probably sleeps with every guy. She's such a slut!"
"I finally met Sarah. We had such a great connection over the phone. Her profile says she's athletic, but when I met her in person, she's a fat cow! I don't plan to see her again."
"Bro! Emily and I have been on 3 dates and she's so frigid! We've made out, but she won't go any further! She's a cock tease! I'm over it!"
"Every woman I meet online is either high maintenance, super clingy, needy, a gold digger or a complete train wreck! I give up on online dating. There are no normal women out there!"
"My ex was such a nag! As soon as a woman acts like a crazy bitch, I RUN!"
"OMG! I told Susan I was busy with my son this week and wasn't available until the weekend. She became hysterical! I think she's emotionally imbalanced, maybe a little bipolar. What a psychopath. I'm breaking up with her! I dodged a bullet!"
"Dude! I had a first date last night and this woman wouldn't stop talking about herself. My ex was a narcissist, I'm not going to see her again!"
How did these scenarios come across to you? A bit nasty, right? Unfortunately, when we label men, put them in a box, make assumptions, etc. we are no better than they are!
Labels are intended for care packages, cereal boxes, food pantries and our children's camp clothes.
Assumptions and labels dehumanize a person, are destructive and detrimental to any relationship. They masquerade as ‘facts’ and have us making choices based on little more than good guesses.
While you can get curious, make observations, and know the facts about a situation; a person’s feelings and thoughts are only available to you if you ask them.
If we are quick to judge a person, put them in a box and slap a label on them, we don't give them a chance. Men and women are not a one size fits all!
So, ladies - put down the label maker and get curious! Ask questions, seek clarity, and go into each date/relationship with fresh eyes. Don't make assumptions and most of all . . . be KIND!
Thursday, October 27, 2016
One might find it hard to believe that Steve Jobs, who once ran Apple, had limits when it came to his own children using technology. In fact, you might expect his house to look more like The Jetsons in the 21st century; touch screens used to turn the lights on and off, unlock doors, and prepare dinner. But the truth is, Steve Jobs is not alone. Many technology CEO’s and executives strictly limit their children’s screen time, often banning them on school nights. We ask ourselves, what is the impact of technology on our children?
Today, children as young as two years old, spend more than two and a half hours a day watching television, and using smartphones, computers, and other electronic devices. But, at what cost? How will all of this screen time affect their health, ability to focus for long periods of time, and socialize and talk to their peers?
What are appropriate boundaries? How much is too much, and when are too many limits going to have adverse effects on our children? We wish someone would give us the answer.
While there is no clear cut solution, there are plenty of studies that have shown that excessive media can lead to attention problems, difficulties in school, sleep concerns, and obesity. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that screen time should be avoided entirely for infants and children under age 2.
It wasn't until my son, Braden started school, that I noticed the overwhelming exposure other children had to electronics. Suddenly, children were coming over for playdates asking to play on the iPad rather than building forts, playing sports, or being outside. Conversations were no longer about Legos and Matchbox cars, rather about Minecraft and Xbox games.
I admit that at some point I convinced herself that allowing Braden to play “educational games” was appropriate. iPads were being introduced in the classroom and he was expected to login and practice math and computer skills at home. Schools and administrators were convincing parents and students that they needed to get children to use iPads and computers at an earlier age to keep up with their peers. That somehow, parents who limited electronics were putting their children at a disadvantage.
I can’t speak for all parents, but intuitively I know that I want to limit my son’s exposure to electronics and video games. It’s not a black and white decision, but in our house, there is a time and a place for it. For example; we never choose electronics over reading, hanging out with friends, or being active. No electronics at dinner time, during playdates, or before bed. Electronics are not used outside of the home, to keep him quiet, or to fight boredom. Electronics are reserved for the weekends, with the exception of school work. Our weekdays are filled with homework, martial arts, piano lessons, playdates, reading, and having face to face conversations about our daily activities.
I notice that when I get lazy, or make exceptions to our limited technology rule, my son’s behavior changes. He becomes more defiant, demonstrates meltdowns and temper tantrums, and ultimately craves more screen time. Therefore, it’s really important for me to be aware of how much screen time Braden is getting in any given week. I have to remember to be present and consciously aware, and make sure that I provide him with real experiences, as well as be a role model of what healthy use of technology looks like. What this means is that each day I take the time to unplug and just be a mom. And guess what? The world still goes on without me.
How often your children spend on technology each week? Do you restrict electronics on school nights? How much is too much or does it matter to you? What do you think is the impact of technology on our children?
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
|- Photo was taken by the very talented, Concha Hernandez|
I don't know where to start and couldn't list everyone, but this post is dedicated to each and every individual who touched our lives in the last three years.
I'm not going to lie, living in Seoul has had it's challenges. There were days, in the beginning, I dreamt of my escape, longed for the day it would all be over. It was during these times, my little rescuers, scattered all over the city, helped me off the ledge and gave me the strength to keep at it; and I'm glad I did because today, when I bid farewell to this chapter in my life, I have tears in my eyes.
Thank you to those who have left, and the ones who remain.
To my ECLC family, expat family, Heart & Seoul MeetUp, SMAK and more. To my neighbors and all of my Korean friends. To the adjumas and adjushis, our babysitters, students and parents. To the owners of our favorite restaurants and cafes, to our pharmacist and our dentist.
To all those who were patient, kind and forgiving. To those who understood and came to my rescue. To those who made me laugh and smile; and even those who made me cry.
You are strong and stubborn; busy and active. You have many hidden unique qualities.
You are determined to preserve your history and foundation, while longing to globalize and modernize.
Your food is incredible, your parks are glorious, and your palaces spectacular.
I have learned from you, and grown because of you.
Thank you for all that you have given me. You will be missed.
Off we go...
Sunday, May 12, 2013
|- Photo was taken by Katie Witt of www.KatiePhotog.com|
“Because there is no one way to be a perfect parent, but there are a million ways to be a great one.” Kelle Hampton
Whether you are a stay-at-home or working mom, being a mother can be one of the most difficult things that you have ever done. There will be days that make you wonder if you measure up, if you’re doing you’re best, if you were even meant to be a mother. You will doubt yourself, judge yourself and feel inadequate. You’ll compare yourself, blame yourself and maybe even wish you weren’t a mom.
It’s during these times, I reach out to other fellow moms because I know that there is someone else out there who is feeling exactly the way that I do, perhaps even at the exact time.
Moth•er•hood is defined as the state of being a mother. To me, motherhood is a test of endurance. Most days, I know I’m a good mom. Some days, I don’t even care whether or not I am, because I can just look at my son and know that I’m doing it right.
Motherhood is like a sorority, a group of women who fully, and wholehearted understand exactly what you are going through. There are no words needed, explanations to be given, or excuses to be made. We’ve been there, done that. We know exactly how you feel. It sounds so cliché, doesn’t it?
For me, my biggest challenge is not about being a mother. I love being a mom. Sure, not every single moment, but on the most part, I enjoy, even long for moments I can spend with my son. I find parenting fulfilling and valuable. I derive pleasure from playing with hot wheels, finger painting, and molding play-dough.
My struggle is more about finding the time to connect with myself outside of my role as “mom.” As moms, we give so much of ourselves to our children, and expect so little in return. Lately, however, I’m realizing that it’s time for me to be more than a mom, to remember that the more of myself I keep, the happier I will be for my family. If we don’t look after ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally, then there is very little left to give.
So, what do I enjoy doing outside of my work and taking care of my son?
As if that’s not enough to figure out, what also gets pushed by the wayside is time with my husband, or the time and space to be a wife. In today’s fast-paced world, husband and wives gets squeezed between morning rituals, sports, activities, meals, laundry, bath time, bedtime, and everything in between. Our high-tech immediate world all so often means that texting and emails supplant conversations, either via the phone or face-to-face. It’s a challenge finding the energy at the end of the day to just connect, even if only for a few minutes.
For today, though, I will not dwell on not being good enough, nor worry that I’m not measuring up. Instead, I will celebrate Motherhood and take care of me. Happy Mother’s Day! How did you celebrate Mother’s Day this year?
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
|illustrated by; Diana Fogarty Daino|
"Dear Papi, You taught me that I could do anything I set my mind to, to never give up, to be independent and perhaps against your intentions, a little too strong willed. You wanted me to be loving, compassionate, patient, and giving. You supported my decisions and allowed me to make mistakes. You were my go-to, my advisor, counselor, problem solver, and biggest cheerleader. You were, before I met my husband, the smartest man I knew. You were a role model, hardworking, determined, dedicated, selfless, devoted, respected, and, perhaps against your intentions, a little too strong willed. I will forever be a part of you, and you, an even bigger part of me. I love and miss you deeply. Love, Arianna."
Monday, March 11, 2013
“Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.” – Unknown
Thursday, February 14, 2013
As I got older, and would inevitably ask again, my mom’s responses provided more details: “Papi didn’t really hear ‘I love you’ growing up, so it’s hard for him to say it. He doesn’t tell me that he loves me, but I know that he does. He shows he loves you by working hard and providing for you.” Sure, that was all true, but I just wanted to hear him tell me.
As a young adult, I remember sitting my dad down and telling him how I felt. “Papi, I know you love me, but I need to hear you tell me. I want you to tell me you love me like other Dads tell their daughters.” Now, I had no idea if other dads did, in fact, tell their daughters that they loved them, but I had assumed they did and I wanted, no, I needed him to tell me. You know what? He did! He started telling me that he loved me more often.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
|My Jersey as Mrs. Carlson in '07|
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Today, marks Braden and my 100th day in Korea. We too have matured and survived. We have done more than survive. We have jumped into the deep end with no life preservers to save us. It's either sink or swim, and I have chosen to swim; if not for me, for the sake of Braden and the experiences he will gain from our living abroad. It hasn't been easy, there were definitely days I wanted to pack up and move home. Heck, even as I write this I fantasize of home; but when I think about what I have done in such a short time, I am reminded of the many milestones newborns make so early in life.
|I'm going a little insane.|
So with that, I take the good and the bad and do what I can to continue to survive; continue to make this an experience of a lifetime; continue to stay sane, in this ever so insane world we find ourselves in. I will not only survive my first 100 days, but the next 100 years, if I have have to. God willing, we won't have to